Home  











Go Back   Eques Forum > Health

Health Human issues

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-09-13, 06:17 PM
Billamba Billamba is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tasmania
Posts: 153
Default When does worrying become a problem?

I am a worrier. I worry about everything. Work and failure and now I'm worrying about worrying too much. I have to do everything perfect 100% of the time or it is not good enough in my books, which of course I know is unachievable but I still can't change my thinking. I worry about things that aren't even really true (eg. I worry I'm not good enough at my job, however my boss (who is very good at reading people and I think is well aware of my worry) tells me frequently how happy she is with my work and other such compliments but its not enough I still think I need to do better or she will fire me).

I don't get to the stage I have any real physical issues (vomiting etc) but when I worry I often end up eating junk food I guess as a bit of a de-stress thing. When I get exceptionally worried I have trouble going to sleep but not staying asleep (thank goodness) and I also end up quite emotional... I cry. A lot.

I think a lot of my worry stems from a fear of failure and a fear of letting people down/what people think of me. When I was at school I was bullied a lot and made felt by both the other kids and the teachers that I was worthless so I think that's where the perfectionism has come from - trying to prove them wrong. I have suffered from depression largely due to the bullying.

So I guess when does worry become an issue and when does it get to the stage you need to talk to a doctor about it?

Thanks,
Kate
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-09-13, 08:02 PM
bornfree's Avatar
bornfree bornfree is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Echuca area, Victoria
Posts: 1,678
Default

I think you might get value from seeing a Dr and getting a referral to someone to talk to about how you are feeling.
There are some useful thought processes and breathing exercises that can help you relax. I am a worrier and things got ridiculous, when I was stressed about other things. I feel much better now, once was able to remove some of the stress and speak to someone.
If its taking over your life then perhaps it is time to get advice.
Goodluck and hugs.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-10-13, 08:29 PM
Jen-Wren Jen-Wren is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Queensland.
Posts: 228
Default

Hey Billimba *hugs*,

I think all worry is a problem - whether minute or significant. Worry is a fairly useless exercise in that it usually resolves nothing. That means we cause ourselves a lot of trouble and pain over something we actually can't fix. Most of the things we worry about either don't happen, or aren't as bad as we thought anyway.

You say you are afraid of failure so I am thinking you probably have some underlying problems with self worth. Not uncommon in our culture where almost everything is 'idealised', and if you don't fit into the mould (which most.. if not pretty well all do not anyway) then you are somehow flawed and 'defective'. I would guess you judge and condemn yourself unnecessarily and don't allow the normal room that most give to themselves. Remember that you, like all people, make mistakes. Allow yourself to do so - not only is it natural, but you'll feel more confident in the process of accepting the fact that you can mess up, and it's perfectly okay.

I think it's essential to 'de-stress' in the areas of life that you can. What do you enjoy doing? If it's going for long walks, horse riding or a nice glass of champagne and just a 'quiet' time make room for something like that every day. If your job is pressuring you, try to look for ways to resolve this (i.e. if you are asked to take on more responsibility, explain that your lifestyle can't allow for this anymore). Try to limit the amount of pressures and burdens you put on yourself.

Exercise and eating healthily is also a gem. No, not dieting and an obsession with weight loss (this will have a deleterious affect) but simple healthy eating (lot's of salads, vegetables and foods low in saturated fats, refined sugars) and a healthy level of exercise. Our bodies cope with stress a lot better when they are in fit and healthy condition (I believe the ideal body type/weight is different for every person, you can feel it when you are at your peak).

I also believe it's important to know where you stand spiritually. I'm not one to force my beliefs on people, but if you are interested in what I think about who we are (from a spiritual point of view). Feel free to PM

My thoughts are with you mate, hope you feel better soon.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-10-13, 10:19 PM
Suzie Q Suzie Q is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,946
Default

You are a perfectionist and that means that you want everything perfect.

The problem with perfectionists become when they worry and if they can't do something perfectly then they don't do it all. Which then leads to messy houses and things like that.

A good website is called FlyLady, she give you tasks that have to do and methods that can work.

To start with all you have to do is get dressed and put on your shoes and lace them up. That is the start and you progress from there.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-12-13, 12:44 AM
Freckle Freckle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 11
Default

kate, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you ?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-01-14, 10:00 PM
Bear Bear is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 46
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzie Q View Post
A good website is called FlyLady, she give you tasks that have to do and methods that can work.
Ooh that is a good website, I wasn't aware of that one. I think having plans to work towards can help reduce some level of worry.

You could also look into a concept called 'mindfulness'. There are a couple of websites that will give you a better explanation than I can, but essentially it is about getting perspective about worrying, and accepting things for how they are.

Different things work for different people so keep trying out different strategies to find the right one/s for you.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-01-14, 10:36 PM
Billamba Billamba is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tasmania
Posts: 153
Default

Sorry I never came back in here, please know I read all your posts and really appreciated them all greatly and knowing that even though I actually know none of you that you took the time to respond meant a lot!

Jen-Wren, I know it was quite a while ago now but I might take you up on the offer of pm-in you

Freckle, I am almost 21.

I ended up getting in contact with the local mental health nurse and my only wish is I had done it earlier. I have been talking to her weekly and learning some really useful things along the lines of cognitive behavioural therapy, acceptance commitment therapy and mindfulness. I have also learnt how to 'belly-breathe' which I have found invaluable as it is a discreet tool I always have with me to help with my worry when it becomes overbearing.

I feel like I still worry way too much and I am starting to realise I have a lot more things in my head that I thought I had dealt with that really haven't been and I am slowly working through those things which is helping greatly. I feel like I am in a happier more settled place although I am well aware I have lots of things still to deal with.

Thank you again,
Kate
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 03:21 PM.













Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
2011 Copyright Eques Pty Ltd - no part maybe copied/reproduced